;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;;

Subject: ;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;; 4/26/2008, 2:25 am

A Funny Joke (Bush & Sheeda)

George Bush was sitting in his office wondering whom
to invade next when
his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Bush!" a heavily accented voice said.
"This is Sheeda from
Chuk no -3, District Gujrat, Pakistan. I am ringing to
inform you that we are officially declaring war on
you!"

"Well, Sheeda," Bush replied, "This is indeed
important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Sheeda, after a moment's
calculation, "there is myself, my cousin Basheera, my
next door neighbor Karam Deen, and the
entire kabaddi team from the village. That makes
eight"

Bush paused. "I must tell you, Sheeda that I have one
million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"bloo.. Hell " said Sheeda. "I'll have to ring you
back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Sheeda called again.

"Mr. Bush, it is Sheeda, I'm calling from Chuk no-3
Gujrat, the war is
still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry
equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be, Sheeda?" Bush
asked.

"Well, we have two combines, a donkey and Amjad's
tractor."

Bush sighed. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have
16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers.
Also, I've increased my army to 1-1/2
million since we last spoke."

"Oh teri (oops)....." said Sheeda. "I'll have to get
back to you."

Sure enough Sheeda rang again the next day. "Mr. Bush,
the war is still
on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne ......
We've modified Amjads's tractor by adding a couple of
shotguns, sticking on some wings and
the pind's generator. Four boys from Sahiwal have
joined us as well!"

Bush was silent for a minute and then cleared his
throat. "I must tell you, Sheeda, that I have 10,000
bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My
military complex is surrounded by laser-guided,
surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke,
I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Tera pala hove ...." said Sheeda, "I'll have to ring
you back."

Sure enough, Sheeda called again the next day. "Mr.
Bush! I am sorry to tell you that we have had to call
off the war."

"I'm sorry to hear that," said Bush. "Why the sudden
change of heart?"

"Well," said Sheeda, "we've all had a long chat over a
couple of days and decided there's no way we can feed
two million prisoners!!."

Subject: Re: ;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;; 4/26/2008, 2:26 am

_________________

Subject: Re: ;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;; 4/26/2008, 2:29 am

A petty thief, a teacher and a lawyer die and go to heaven.

When they get there they are stopped by St. Peter, who then says, "Sorry, heaven's crowding up, so you need to answer a question correctly, or else you can't get in."

He looks at the teacher, and asks her: "What was the name of the famous ocean-liner that sank after hitting an iceberg?" "Oh, that's easy," the teacher replied, "the Titanic." So St. Peter let her into heaven.

Next he turned to the petty thief. "How many people died on that ship?" St. Peter asked. "Oooh, that's tough, but I saw the movie, and it was 1, 500." St. Peter stepped away and the thief walked into heaven.

Finally, St. Peter turned to the lawyer. He simply said to him: "Name them."

Subject: Re: ;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;; 4/26/2008, 2:31 am

Subject: Re: ;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;; 4/26/2008, 2:42 am

Logic Teacher : The books put on the table and the table put in the room.
means the books put in the room...... understand ?

Students : Yes Sir,

Logic Teacher : Very Good.... can U tell me other example ?

One Student : Sir, U love your daughter and I Love You.

Subject: Re: ;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;; 4/26/2008, 2:45 am

I SAW SOMEONE IN DA COFEE SHOP

ATTRACTIVE

GRACEFUL

INTELLIGENT

SMART

DECENT

MORE LIKE CELEBRITY
I WENT CLOSER

OH GOD YE MIRRORS BHI NA:-)

Subject: Re: ;;;;;;;;;jokes;;;;;;;;;; 4/26/2008, 2:49 am